I came back into my apartment the other day and my roommate was watching Junior. You know, the movie where Danny Devito impregnates the current Governor of California. (He doesn't impregnate him personally you perverts.) As scenes unfolded, it hit my roommate and I that the 6'2" Austrian man dressed in drag, getting an emergency C-Section on our tv screen, is currently the highest executive authority in California. Um...what?

Sure, I knew Arnie won the recall election back in 2003, and was then re-elected, but seeing him play a pregnant man, and then thinking of him sitting at his gubernatorial desk deciding whether or not to pardon people on death row almost made my head implode. I felt like the 1955 version of Doc Brown when Marty McFly tries to tell him that Ronald Reagan is the President back in 1985 (or is it forward in 1985? Damn you flux capacitor!)

Now, I'm pro democracy and even more than that, I'm pro Arnold Schwarzeneggar so I think it is amazing. But what the hell was California thinking? If America were being attacked by artificially intelligent robots bent on destroying mankind that would be one thing. But it isn't. Attacked by terrorists? Yup. Attacked by an economic recession? Maybe. Attacked by robots? Not so much (unless your name is John Connor). So how did this happen?

I tried looking up some speeches and quotations from his two campaigns to see if I couldn't put myself in the designer shoes (or Air Jordans, depending on the city) of voting Californians. The only things I found were quotes that make me think nothing is real and we're all in one of those crazy fantasy worlds like in Total Recall. Quotes like this one:

"She's either Puerto Rican, or the same thing as Cuban, I mean they are all very hot. They have the, you know, part of the black blood in them and part of the Latino blood in them that together makes it." - on California Assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia, the lone Latina Republican in the Legislature

You read that twice didn't you? It's okay so did I. Clearly this is the man that you want as Commander In Chief of California's militia. But fine, the President himself probably can't even spell Puerto Rico, so I'll cut Ahnuld some slack and assume that political correctness and geography aren't his strong suits (they aren't mine either). What about social policy?

"I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman." - on legalizing homosexual marriage.

Hmm okay, so he's not exactly up on that either. Could it be his environmental stance that gained him votes? Well, he owns a fleet of Hummers and gives them out as birthday gifts, so I don't particularly think so. (In an interview he once joked how he got a "hummer in a Hummer" for his anniversary, just one more reason to love him). Maybe he got elected to office because California is home to Hollywood and Arnold is big time player there. After all, he did star in Terminator, Terminator 2, Kindergarten Cop and Predator. On the other hand he also starred in Jingle All the Way with Sinbad.

At my wit's end, I thought it might be because the Governator, despite being a Republican, is willing to compromise and work with Democrats to pass some good legislation, but in reality people tend to not care about the politics of politics so I doubt it (I don't care about politics either, I'm voting for Obama solely so he can get to stompin' in his Air Force Ones... on Air Force One). To be honest, I don't know how Arnold got himself elected, but he did, and I find it hysterical. But enough with the politics for one day. My head hurts. Maybe its a tumor. (Just kidding...it's not a tumaaaaaaaaa!)

-Adam