Has anyone bought tickets on Ticketmaster recently? I'm sure you have. What the hell is this "convenience charge" nonsense? I don't think its very convenient that they take extra money out of my pocket every time I purchase a ticket. In fact I would go so far as to say that it's pretty damn inconvenient.

I bought a ticket to a show once, and the "convenience charge," cost more than the ticket. I'm not kidding. It was a $10 ticket to see a Matt Nathanson show, and the "convenience charge," was $12. Um, excuse me Ticketmaster, but how is it convenient that I'm paying 120% more than is necessary? According to Ticketmaster.com's website:

Convenience Charge
This fee covers costs that allow Ticketmaster to provide the widest range of available tickets while giving you multiple ways to purchase. Tickets are available in many neighborhoods via local ticket outlet locations, our telephone reservation system and Ticketmaster.com. Tickets can be purchased through at least one distribution channel virtually 24 hours a day. The convenience charge varies by event and is determined by negotiations with arena operators, promoters and others, based on costs for each event.

Is it just me, or did Ticketmaster say absolutely nothing in that entire paragraph, except that there is no standard fee and they can charge you just about whatever they want? If someone is going to charge me money, I want to know what its for. So I called Ticketmaster Customer Support:

Ticketmaster: Hello, Ticketmaster Customer Support can I help you?
Me: Yes, do you know the convenience fee you charge, on a ticket?
Ticketmaster: Yes...
Me: Well, I was just wondering what it is.
Ticketmaster: The fee varies from show to show and venue to venue.
Me: No, I didn't mean what it is monetarily, I want to know what I'm paying for. What's the convenience?
Ticketmaster: ...well you're paying for the convenience of using the internet.
Me: But I already pay Comcast for the convenience of the internet.
Ticketmaster: ...what show were you looking for tickets for?
Me: What? You're trying to change the subject! We were just talking about the convenience charge! All I want to know is what convenience my fee is guaranteeing me.
Ticketmaster: Okay, to be honest, I don't know. I shouldn't be saying this, but I'd say buy your tickets at the venue if it's close by so there's no extra fees.

Like all the conversations I post on here, that was real. Not only did she not know what the convenience charge is, but she actually told me to go to the venue to avoid Ticketmaster's bullshit fees, and she works for them.

Not to mention (this phrase makes no sense, because you inevitably mention whatever it is immediately after you say this) the fact that they are already charging you the face value of the ticket, a processing fee, a facilities fee, taxes, and depending on your delivery choice, a delivery fee. (Speaking of these"delivery" fees, Ticketmaster charges you if you want to print out your ticket electronically using YOUR OWN PRINTER. What a load of shit! There is no delivery involved!) Shouldn't the processing fee cover convenience? Any convenience I'm getting is only in the fact that they processed my order in the first place. Hmm...

Undisclosed fees, overcharging people, employees going off the record and speaking out against policy...it all sounds a little too much like the US Government if you ask me. Next thing you know Ticketmaster is going to start a war over oil...I mean..."terrorism."

-Adam