Talk to anyone that knows me and they will tell you that when I get fixated on something, no matter how inane, I can't get it out of my head. Today's post is about one of those inane things thts been on my mind: the fact that Samuel L. Jackson is in every movie ever made. (Bambi's mom? Yup, Samuel L. Jackson) I looked into it, and i've come to realize that Samuel L. Jackson is the man. The guy is the epitome of cool, and the quintessential badass. And I'm not even talking about his on screen performances.

In 1969, Jackson and other students held members of the Morehouse College board of trustees hostage on the campus demanding a change in the curriculum and how the school was run. True story. The school eventually changed its ways but not after suspending the future Shaft for two years. Not badass enough for you? He's also a recovering cocaine addict and alcoholic, if that helps. Still not buying the guy's street cred? Well there's always the fact that Samuel was involved with the Black Panthers. He revealed in an interview with Parade that he felt empowered by the movement, especially when the group started purchasing guns. (Purchasing guns?) Jules Winnfield may have been a bad mother, but I don't know if he's got anything on the real Samuel L.

Why am I on this Samuel L. Jackson kick? Well, I happened to be flipping through the movie channels last night when I realized that at any given time there are at least 2 movies that he's in playing on tv. Seriously. Day. Night. Doesn't matter. There's always at least 2. How is this possible? Simple. The guy is in everything. He's got so many cameos I'm beginning to think he wakes up and drives to random movie shoots, walks into the shot, yells something at the top of his lungs (usually involving an f-bomb), and walks off set. Is it just me or did anyone else not even know he was in Kill Bill 2? (He played Rufus the piano player. He was in the movie for less than five minutes. )

My theory is that Samuel L. Jackson and Morgan Freeman have bet a shitload of money in a competition to see who can be the token black guy in the most movies. It's the only thing that really makes sense. I mean, the guy is an Academy Award nominated actor and he has starred in some of the worst movies put out in the past five years. Can you say Black Snake Moan? Snakes on a Plane? Triple X: State of the Union (this movie was so shitty that even Vin Diesel, the worst actor ever, refused to sign on to do the sequel)? How do you go from Pulp Fiction to doing a voice over for the animated mini series "Afro Samurai?"

My other theory is that the guy does shitty movies and voice overs to boost his IMDB stats the way I take bullshit electives like "Intro to Special Education" to boost my GPA. We're kindred spirits. Maybe he just wants to see how many things he can get his name on. Let me put it in perspective. Sean Connery, who started acting in the 1954, has 91 acting credits to his name on IMDB.com. Samuel L. Jackson has 91 since 1990. The guy simply doesn't give a damn about the quality of work he's in. I don't even think he reads the scripts beforehand. He just shows up and finds out on the first day of shooting.

"Preventing a witness from talking by putting crates of venomous snakes on a plane? God DAMN that is some dumb shit! Fuck it. I'll do it!...Now go call Morgan Freeman and tell him he owes me a hundred bucks. Motherfucker"

-Adam