For the first time in a long time I had absolutely nothing to do today after I got out of class at noon. Subsequently, I spent the entire afternoon at the pool where I had the pleasure of engaging in a great number of conversations with friends and acquaintances.

Amidst the bedlam that is the Eppley Recreation Center's Outdoor Aquatic Center I found myself caught up in some profoundly philosophical discourse. I figured that if FDR could come right into America's living rooms with his trademark Fireside Chats, that I could come into America's dorm rooms, cubicles, opium dens, and Blackberry Browsers. So here you go, readers, my inaugural edition of AJB's Poolside Chats.

Conversation #1: Save a Life/Take a Shot
Mitchell: Do you think you can get extra wasted if you give blood and then drink lcohol?
Me: I guess so.
Mitchell: Think about it! Your BAC will be higher because you have less blood!
Mitchell: There's a blood drive on campus today. I'm thinking that instead of pregaming later, I'll just give blood.
Me: ...

Conversation #2: Battle of the Breakfast Cereals
Me: When you were a kid, did you prefer Fruity Pebbles or Cocoa Pebbles?
Stein: Cocoa Pebbles, hands down.
(Other friend overhearing): I didn't eat that shit. Banana Nut Crunch is where it's at. And Pop-Tarts without frosting.
Stein: Not a chance.
Me: They make Pop Tarts without frosting?!
Stein: Yeah, just the filling.
Me: Mindblowing... anyways, Cocoa Pebbles? Really? But Fruity Pebbles gives you a deliciously fruity smorgasbord of flavors in every spoonful.
Stein: No you're dumb. Cocoa Pebbles.
Me: But—
Stein: But nothing! Shut up! You're an idiot if you think Fruity Pebbles are better! Cocoa Pebbles turn the milk into chocolate milk. You can't beat that shit.
Me: You're right. I don't know what I was thinking.

Conversation #3: Warm Chocolate Milk
Me: What did you get to drink, Raspberry Iced Tea?
Stein: (Shows me his cup)
Ruda: What the fuck is that, iced coffee?
Stein: No, chocolate milk.
Me: But...it has ice in it.
Stein: So?
Ruda: So who the fuck puts ice cubes in chocolate milk. That's gross.
Stein: What do you mean man? It's not gross. The ice serves two purposes. First, it keeps my chocolate milk cold—
Me: No shit man, we know how ice works—
Stein: Second, the chocolate milk here is too thick. It waters it down.
Ruda: "Waters it down?" If you want water, get water! If you want milk, get milk!
Stein: Listen, I've been drinking milk forever, okay? Like 1/2 a gallon a day, so I know what's good with milk. This is good.

How did we all get into the #54 school in the country? We're all retarded.

-Adam