(I've backdated a few posts to make up for missed days. It's like my keyboard was pinched and now that I let it go, you get a whole lot of posts at once.)

It's that time of year both dreaded and lusted after at the University of Maryland, finals week Dreaded, of course, because for most normal college students it means studying extremely hard for one or two days for a class they haven't been to in two weeks. Lusted after because once that last scantron is handed in to that T.A. school is officially over for the summer.

The thing about finals though, in my opinion (this is a rather redundant interjection, as I'm writing it on my blog), is that they are a complete waste of time for both students and teachers, and do not prove anything in terms of academic achievement or knowledge gained throughout the course of the semester. In reality, the only thing finals do test for is which students can cram the best and/or imbibe the most Rockstar energy drinks. Thankfully, I excel at both of these.

Seriously though, what the hell are professors and administrators doing? I get that they feel they need to quantify the knowledge that students attain in a given semester so that they can brag to their intellectual peers in other departments and at other Universities on the golf course about their teaching ability (even though 3/4 of the teacher's I've had fall into two categories: those who read directly from the textbook, and those who haven't updated their lesson plans in 20 years), but c'mon!

Enough already! Stop giving cumulative exams in classes like Intro to Special Education. The 14 football players, 10 members of Greek Life and I, do not appreciate it. We know this class is bullshit, and so do you, professor, so just give us the A. The fact that you force me to sit up until the wee hours of the morning, choking down warm energy drinks, as I frantically read a sorority girl's photocopied notes, does not show what I have learned nor does it make me a better student. It makes me hate the education system.

I think professors do this on purpose, just to fuck with students. College Professors, in my opinion, are the academically superior version of cops. Allow me to explain. Cops are typically the C-student jocks and bullies in high school. They then graduate and realize that they no longer have anyone to make feel small and insignificant, so they become cops in order to still be able to boss people around. College professors on the other hand, are the polar opposite. They spent four years being stuffed into lockers and getting picked on. Once they graduate, they want a little payback. So they go out and become professors, and give cumulative exams at 8am, so that they can fuck with every Natty Light drinking fraternity guy and athlete that reminds them of their former tormentors.

I hate finals week.

-Adam