Some days I have to do a little thinking to get my topic for the day's post. Other days, the topic just seems to fall into my lap. The latter describes the way I came across the subject of today's post.

I came back from work last night at about 10:15 and saw that my roommate had checked the mail and left it on the living room table. Expecting movies from Blockbuster, I went through the mail to not only find my movies, but an official looking letter addressed to me from Imperial Majesty Cruise Line Vacataions. It also said "Claim Your Free Cruise Inside!"

Now, obviously, my immediate reaction was to assume it was some marketing scam or time-share offer, but I decided to open it anyway, just for a good laugh. However, much to my surprise, upon opening it that it looked legitimate. Extremely legitimate. So much so, that when I showed my roommates, hoping they would tell me I was out of my mind, they gave me their cellphones to call the number and claim my cruise. Which I did. Here is the conversation that ensued.

Agent: Hello, Imperial Majesty Cruise Lines, can I have your name?
Me: Adam Beaton
Agent: Confirmation number? It is located on the front of your voucher.
Me: 389275981
Agent: Okay, let me pull up your itinerary. Just one second....Ah yes, it seems you've been selected based on your location, history of travel, and standing with Visa, for a free 3 nights at the Ramada Plaza Resort in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida followed by a 2 night cruise on with our cruise line to Nassau, Bahamas, followed by a 2 nights at the Ramada Plaza Resort in Orlando Florida. You will also be provided with 7 days of transportation via rental car from Alamo, free of charge.
Me: Um, what?
Agent: Are you still living at 4330 Hartwick Rd, College Park, Maryland?
Me: Yeah? Um...
Agent: Terps fan eh? Go Terps!
Me: Yeah, go Terps. How exactly did I get this again?
Agent: Like I said based on your travel history, your Visa record, and your location. So basically, I'm going to go ahead and send out your registration forms. You just call us up within 60 days of when you'd like to leave and we'll send you on your way.
Me: That's it. No catch? It's free.
Agent: That's right. No catch. Free. And for signing up today, you get two more free trips as a bonus! 3 days in Las Vegas, and 4 days in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico!
Me: And that's it?
Agent: You got it! Now you get all three of those trips for one easy payment of $768!
Me: Wait, what?!
Agent: Is that not affordable to you right now?
Me: No it's not "affordable." You literally just told me it was free.
Agent: Okay, well what is more affordable?
Me: Gee, I don't know, $5?
Agent: ...you only have $5?!
Me: I didn't say that, I just said that's what's affordable.
Agent: How about $400? You can even pay it off over the next twelve months, and get the trips up front?
Me: No! This says free, you just sold me on "free!"
Agent: You're in college right?
Me: Yeah. Why?
Agent: Have you studied American History?
Me: Yeah.
Agent: When in the history of America, have you heard of anyone giving anything away for free? C'mon!
Me: But I asked you if there was a catch.
Agent: ::Click::

Hmm, I guess I no longer presented myself as an optimal client to try out their new hotel package. I can't imagine why. The Ramada and Imperial Majesty Cruise lines are full of shit.

-Adam